Do you know what I asked for this Christmas? Of course you don't, I ask for slippers, a dressing gown and two sets of PJs. I don't have these things, no one buys me these things, ever and I feel like I am missing out! What's Christmas for anyway if you don't get slippers and a dressing gown? (I am not a moron so don’t try and put me right with your religious mumbo-jumbo).
I find it hard to come up with anything that I want for Christmas. There are plenty of things that I would like, but the majority of them cost a fortune and I’d probably not use them even if I got them. I would like a sh*t hot editing suite as mine is, as you probably know from my Twitter rantings, old school. I’d like a bunch of DVD’s, but I pay for Sky Movies every month and can’t quite ask for something I’m already getting, if you know what I mean?
I don’t want for much and to tell people to spend the money that they don’t have on me of all people seems just wrong. They will just spend it on cigarettes and wine anyway, but at least they’ll be in less debt than they were before old White Beard started dragging his sack around once more.
And I do want a pair of slippers, laminate floor is so cold, a dressing gown, I love slobbing around and PJ’s well the cold night air doesn’t do much for your family jewel’s pride. I do love Christmas, mainly because I’m not at work and because at Christmas it is fine to drink whiskey and coffee together at 10am in the morning, sometimes they aren’t even in the same drinking vessel. I like to live dangerously... in the safety of my own home.
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